I Feel Like a Gaucho...

If you ever couldn't wait to be a King. Sans wealth, control, decapitation (well, sort of) and living like the kid from Blank Check (well, sort of); then you should plop your soon-to-be fat ass on a chair at The Knife. $26 (on a weekday) will get you endless meats of all shapes and one flavor PLUS a bottle of wine all to yourself. Helps you forget how much you hate yourself for eating here. And if you go with enough people, chances are they will lose track of how many bottles of wine you've already received, and so will you. It's good for a competitive bunch (endless beef usually is) and you will drive home wishing you weren't (not suggesting you'd want to stay there, just that you wouldn't want to drive or walk or speak because you feel like that last bacon-wrapped short rib is floating atop the red wine halfway up your esophagus and might start seeping backwards through your mouth, thus driving being the next thing worse to running (unless its to the bathroom). Not to mention you'll be tipsy and the color of your face will be a Merlot with an oaky finish.

WRONG

RIGHT